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These are sure signs that you've become far too "at one" with the film. I ought to know because I've had family members accuse me of some of them at times. Of course, wearing my white dress and piling my golden hair up in ribbons can get annoying day after day. Maybe it's the British accent... or perhaps my friends are just really, really sick of my matchmaking attempts. 


Every conversation you've ever had centers around a quote in the movie. Hence, if an unknowing person says, "How fascinating!" you return with "...that any discordancies between us must always arise from my being wrong."

The word "elegant" usually pops up in conversations centering around someone you do not particularly like.

You begin calling your pastor's wife "Mrs. Elton," and planning parties for her, so "everyone will not see at once how much I dislike her."

Your desktop background supports a view of... who else?... Emma!! No doubt in the proposal scene, with Mr. Knightley, which you've watched sixty times in an attempt to impress your friends with your knowledge. However, in attempting it alone, you find it extremely difficult to kiss yourself.

When asked to perform at a party (where a sorrowful and unknowing girl named "Jane" is present), you sing "Silent Worship," even though everyone is twisting to the ballad of Britney Spears.

Your best friend decides to dump you when you keep trying to match her up with Elton, a dull and predictable boy in your class, and can't figure out why you hate her suddenly as you replace her picture with that of a dog.

Your mom's mad because you've pulled all the petals off her bed of daises, only to announce later that they "really are drab little flowers."

Your homepage opens up to: greatestmovieevermade/didwementionobsessed?/ knightleyisthecutestever/wow/home.htm

Your mother gets tired of you quoting Emma by night, and Knightley by day.

Whenever a guy says "Hi!" you immediately compare his eyes, hair, boots, nose, and hat to that of Mr. Knightley. If he doesn't fit the requirements, you give him the Mr. Elton rejection scene.

You're gravely insulted whenever Jeremy Northam or Gwyneth Paltrow appear in films that don't work well alongside the Emma plot. You picket the theater with signs saying "Injustice to Knightley!" and "Long Live Emma!"

You watch Emma at least twice a month, whether you have time or not. You had to bump the prom and graduation, but hey, Knightley's worth it...